In a World of My Own...

A little exert from an entry in my journal. Kinda feeling like this today, hope you enjoy...

"...But the right choice is always the hardest right? It shouldn't be like that. Good things should be easy, that way the world would be a better place.

It's hard to believe in a God that would create such a thing as pain. The church would probably argue that God created pain to teach sinners a lesson. I would argue that if God were good and perfect he would know how to create humans so good and wise that they would not sin, They would be created with all lessons learned. There would be no punishment because we were equals with God, we were good in our differences...perfect. It would be perfect.

In a world of my own...

Good choices are very very easy

And it's not so bad."

xoxo

Lee

Desolate

I feel empty and desolate. Like the entire world is crashing down on me, and my lungs are being crushed. Like my blood is being poisened by the hate that this world has endowed on me.

Rage runs through my veins in an absolute coercion. It burns my insides and makes my mind weak. I feel weak, powerless...lost.

Though I don't know why, I have absolutely no idea what it happening to me or why. I have no reason to feel in such an abhorrent manner.

I trully hope it will cease...

xoxo
Lee

As 50 Coisas Mais Belas do Mundo (na minha opiniao)

A Portuguese Post to change a little =)

1. Apaixonar-te.
2. Rir tanto até que as faces doam.
3. Um chuveiro quente num Inverno frio.
4. Um supermercado sem filas nas caixas.
6. Receber correio (pode ser electrónico.....)
7. Conduzir numa estrada linda.
8. Ouvir a nossa música preferida no rádio.
9. Ficar na cama a ouvir a chuva cair lá fora.
10. Toalhas quentes acabadas de serem engomadas...
11. Encontrar a camisola que se quer em saldo a metade do preço.
12. Batido de chocolate (baunilha ou morango).
13. Uma chamada de longa distância.
14. Um banho de espuma.
15. Rir baixinho.
16. Uma boa conversa.
17. A praia.
18. Encontrar uma nota de 20 euros no casaco pendurado desde o último Inverno.
19. Rir-se de si mesmo.
20. Chamadas à meia-noite que duram horas.
21. Correr entre os jactos de água de um aspersor.
22. Rir por nenhuma razão especial.
23. Alguém que te diz que és o máximo.
24. Rir de uma anedota que vem à memória.
25. Amigos.
26. Ouvir acidentalmente alguém dizer bem de nós.
27. Acordar e verificar que ainda há algumas horas para continuar a dormir.
28. O primeiro beijo (ou mesmo o primeiro com novo parceiro).
29. Fazer novos amigos ou passar o tempo com os velhos.
30. Brincar com um cachorrinho.
31. Haver alguém a mexer-te no cabelo.
32. Belos sonhos.
33. Chocolate quente.
34. Fazer-se à estrada com os amigos.
35. Balancear-se num balancé.
36. Embrulhar presentes sob a árvore de Natal comendo chocolates e bebendo a
bebida favorita.
37. Letra de canções na capa do CD para podermos cantá-las sem nos sentirmos
estúpidos.
38. Ir a um bom concerto.(go to a good concert)
39. Trocar um olhar com um belo/a desconhecido/a.
40. Ganhar um jogo renhido.
41. Fazer bolachas de chocolate.
42. Receber de amigos biscoitos feitos em casa.
43. Passar tempo com amigos íntimos.
44. Ver o sorriso e ouvir as gargalhadas dos amigos.
45. Andar de mão dada com quem gostamos.
46. Encontrar por acaso um velho amigo e ver que algumas coisas( boas ou
más) nunca mudam.
47. Patinar sem cair.
48. Observar o contentamento de alguem que está a abrir um presente que lhe
ofereceste.
49. Ver o nascer do sol.
50. Levantar-se da cama todas as manhãs e agradecer outro belo dia.


Amigos são anjos que nos levantam pelos pés quando as nossas asas não
conseguem lembrar de como se voa.


xoxo
Lee

Forgive and Live

Things aren't always bright. They won't always make you smile. Won't always make you happy. No. They will knock you down, make you furious. They will bring tears to your eyes and make you lose all hope. Because growing up is hard. But good things fall apart, so better ones can fall together. And even though you can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, have no doubt...It is waiting for you at the very end. You must get hurt in order to learn, and forgive in order to live.

xoxo
Lee

Slow Motion

Sometimes I lose all hope. I lose hope in my parents finally getting along, even when they are thousands of miles away from each other. Lose hope that they will accept my life decisions, and just be happy for me. That someone will notice that inside this uptight rational person i tend to be, someone that does to everyone's pleasing that, this is not the person I really am. It is a facade for the loving care-free me.

Sometimes I cry. Because I long to let people know who I really am and they won't allow me to. I cry because I feel broken, I feel trapped, and I feel like every time things are going great, something will come and rob me of that moment. I cry because I'm helpless and hopeless.

Then...
Everything is calm again. Like the world stopped and I'm just standing in the middle watching the frozen moments. Then the world begins to move in slow motion. Like I am too fast to be seen and they (the world) are carrying out normally. Then faster, faster, faster the earth spins, the sun grows until all of its gasses explode and a ball of flashing light swallows the earth.

When my vision clears, I am sitting under my covers, with a flashlight writing in my journal. Secretly wishing someone will take a peak at the entry I'm writing and understand what I feel. Then again, maybe not. Maybe its better off if those thoughts remain in my journal, unknown to the world.

Being myself doesn't seem to please a lot of people including my parents because they tend to yell more at me when I try to be. Still, it no longer seems like it is anyone's business who I am and who I want to be. That decision is mine to make, and mine to live with...

xoxo,
Lee